Hi. My name is Zargonius. I am from the Antares star system, 604 light years away. Iím here on my dinner break. I like humans.
If youíve ever seen an Antarian, youíre probably wondering why I donít have tentacles on my face, extra arms, purple skin and so on. I disguised myself before coming to your planet. I wouldnít want to alarm the hors díoeuvres. Are you alarmed?
Youíre probably wondering why Iím holding up this strange-looking pen. As you can see, it is blue and white, with funny colored nobs on top. Those are the controls.
For this is not an ordinary pen. Sure, it writes like any other pen. But can an ordinary pen cause excruciating pain of such beauty that it just lifts up the soul?
That probably sounds somewhat alien to you, no pun intended, since humans of course do not have souls, unlike us Antarians. But itís not your fault you are soulless freaks of nature, so I wonít hold it against you.
Now if youíll look closely at my pen, youíll see that it has four nobs on top.
The black nob is a death ray. Please do not try t -- [End of Preview.]